Birth Parent Letter

So it turns out that neither Joe or I hit the nail on the head with our first go around on the letter we wrote this weekend.  It's kinda funny because as we sat here Saturday and wrote the Birth Parent Letter, we were so excited that we did it and thought we wrote a great letter...turns out...not so much!  We also had a disagreement while writing it.  Let me explain what a Birth Parent Letter is: It is a opportunity to introduce ourselves and aid the birth mom in choosing a family.  It was to be one page long and explain why we want to adopt.  We were to describe ourselves and give facts about our life as well as offer positive and comforting words to her.  It is supposed to be warm and personal and convey positive emotional feelings.  Well, I wrote a cover letter telling how fabulous our family is and Joe wrote a story about our lives and then we combined the two.  We were told we over sold ourselves (impossible) and had too many "We" starting sentences.  Now, it's a bit difficult to write a letter about your family without starting the sentence with "We".  Thank God, Amanda our social worker at the agency, is awesome and gave me the negative feedback with class and sensitivity.  But I also loved it when she just said "take out the first paragraph" (which was Joe's and the one we argued over!).  She totally understood where Joe was trying to go with his take on the letter but it wasn't the take they are looking for.  So, off to write another letter and now I understand what they are looking for, humbleness, and for those who know me know that is not my forte!