lessons in parenting...

Since the yard sale things here got a little rocky.  We started noticing some strange behavior from Lola and decided to take her out of her last weeks of school to address what was going on.  We have determined that part of what was going on was the adoption.  She is a normal drama filled five year old girl who was starting to say some crazy stuff to us about not being her parents.  We totally expected something like this when she was a teenager but when our five year old daughter started arguing like a sixteen year old, we found ourselves in unfamiliar territory.  It is very clear that she is testing our love and our commitment to being her parents, mostly me, as I am the one with her all day.  That along with her normal testing of control and boundaries was some stuff to handle.  I realized that I've always been honest with her about my mother leaving me and I just would tell her that she left because she couldn't handle being a mom.  I never assured Lola that moms shouldn't leave their children and that was wrong of what my mom did.  How was I supposed to know what to tell her and what not to tell her?!  Also that along with explaining adoption to her probably resonated some kind of fear about abandonment...  Regardless, there were several other issues going on that we have started to address and hopefully this abandonment concern is going away.  We have prayed, we have sought help, and we are back in control and feel empowered to get through this one of many parental learning experiences.  In some way we are glad it is happening now.  

During all this drama in our home life, it has left  me so busy, not giving me much time to realize that we are just waiting to be chosen.  This has probably been a good thing.  Another good thing is we have been waiting over a month now and that just means we are one month closer.  They say 9-12 months most couples wait, some longer, some shorter.  All I can say is every time the phone rings and I notice it a different number I am quick to answer and wonder each time, "is this the call?", and soon realize that no it's a sales call for a new security system or something else.  These sales people are tricky because they are local callers and their names come up versus an 800 number with no name!  Not cool to a waiting family!

We received another donation in the mail last week from some of our friends' parents with a very sweet card and it was a nice surprise after all the bills I had just opened :)  Thank you Ralph and Alice for your support! 

Also, my friend gave me a necklace a few weeks ago that she ordered on Etsy for me to wear.  I haven't taken it off.  It has two charms, one of which says "waiting", the other says "chosen...to belong...to be loved".  Everyday throughout the day I find myself rubbing them and praying for that baby out there who is going to be ours!  Thank you Kathy for the necklace, it is very special to me!