I want a time out...just kidding!! Adoption is just straight up HARD. For those of you who've walked down this path, you understand, and those who've been following along with us, listening to me rant over the phone and when we see each other - I'm sure you see what I'm going through. There is so much more than just putting a profile together and getting picked and then bringing home your child. The emotional level of adoption is something else. I am extremely overwhelmed right now.
I'm going to explain to all because I can't verbally talk about it to anyone anymore because I'm drained. Yes our adoption plan/process thus far has been extremely smooth thanks to Amanda at Heaven Sent Children. Everyone kept pointing out how smoothly it has gone for us and how that's been such a great sign. Well, long story short, Yes we got picked by "an incredible birth mom" and it's everything I could have asked for. She is very certain about adoption, she wants us a part of the delivery, she wants to meet me, she wants a semi-open adoption and all the amazing things I hoped for out of this. However; we should have never been presented to her as an option because she was out of our budget and I had no idea until last night. That is what I'm dealing with right now. Somewhere and somehow GA and UT had a miscommunication and we were shown to someone out of our budget.
I Love Amanda, I called her this morning and just shared everything that I am going through and she is just the best. She is going to call UT and advocate for me, find out where the paperwork is, what happened and help me. She even offered to come watch Lola so I can get some stuff done. She is a blessing, she helped me focus, she commiserated with me and totally gets me and what I'm feeling right now. She learned a lot about Joe and I in our Home Study and how we operate and she knows what a blow this is to me and how I am feeling about the extra money. They say God never gives us more than we can handle, but actually he does it's just we can't do it without Him.
So true, Kim. There is absolutely no place in the Bible that says God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Believe me, I've looked and looked and I've wished many times that it was in there, but it simply isn't. However, as you said, we can do all things through Him.
ReplyDeleteIt is going to be hard. Life is going to be hard. But you know what, it is all going to be okay. This whole, emotionally, physically and spiritually draining process is going to make you a wiser person and if you keep hanging on... it will bring you closer to Him.
Love you!