That is exactly how we feel... The support and prayers many of you continue to give and just knowing the ones that are truly invested in our lives means and helps us through the roller coaster. It is a roller coaster!! We are definitely on a roller coaster!!! I have thought to my self a few times that I might want to hop off... but not without our baby...so for now we will continue to go up and down this ride... We have faith and that is what get's us through...
I'm going to begin with Sunday evening when we received a phone call from Florida! Without sharing with you all the details of adoption mishaps, I will simply put that as of Sunday evening it was evident that our match is/was on it's way to being a failed adoption #2 for us. Nothing we did, nothing we could have prevented - this is just how it goes sometimes - par for the course... We had anxiously been waiting to hear if our potential birth mom received the card we sent, she had not - and other personal stuff with her went down which was leading her to back out. We were given the wait and see approach. Which is what for the past two days we've been doing...waiting....waiting...not seeing anything... Our emotions have been on hold - except for the sad emotions - those have been full force! Thank God for Lola - she gets me moving when I would rather crawl under the sheets and cry. BTW - she does not know anything about this interruption in our adoption plan...
As yesterday went by, I received a phone call from a FL number that I hadn't recognized, but thought for sure it was about our match. It was a different case worker with the same agency, but she was calling because she heard that our adoption had failed - which I haven't gotten on paper/or been told point blank - as well as still had my hopes up!! I do realize that these things aren't paper documents and this is just how it goes sometimes. Thank God for adoption groups and friends or I wouldn't know how it goes down for some and would think that we are the only family experiencing the extreme highs and lows on our emotions that adoption brings, but we are not! We also find ourselves feeling like the 'the little boy who cried wolf'! Here we are getting matched and then sharing it with everyone, then taking it all back. A few people this last time when we shared, asked us if this one was "for real"! That hurt! We remind ourselves that we signed up willingly, knowingly, lovingly and faithfully for this journey and we are going to get through it, but not without some heartache along the way. And definitely some lessons....
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