Here we are getting closer and closer. I remember putting the December calender up thinking I can't wait for this week and what it will feel like to be this close! I got to say that it feels great and a bit crazy because there is so much to do to prepare for our trip/his birth. Birth parent gifts need to be thought of and purchased. I need to start packing, find a place to stay for a questionable amount of days. I am a bit overwhelmed with the where to stay part. I wish Joe wasn't so busy so I could put that off on him to find us a place to stay.
I believe or potential BM had a doctor appointment yesterday or it's today - there was a bit of confusion on that. Hopefully our agency will hear something today on how she is doing, how the baby is and so forth. I might here something from them and I might not. I am praying for knowing something when she is around 38 weeks regarding if she's going to be having a c-section or not. So that is 2 weeks away and anything can happen at that point. She definitely wants me there for the birth and I definitely want to be there so hopefully we can get that planned.
As I am planning for everything, washing clothes and purchasing the necessities, I find myself not allowing for the 'what if' thoughts to linger in my head and my heart. I hope that is how I should be handling everything but part of me thinks if I don't plan for the 'what if's', then I won't be prepared and is that me being naive? Then I think how on earth does someone plan for that? I just pray that this all goes the way I hope for. I pray for our potential birth parent's to feel peace with their decision and sure of it, I pray for understanding between them and us. I pray for a smooth delivery and for a healthy baby. So much of this is completely out of my hands, out of my control and it's really challenging at times to let go...
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