What's next???

Most everything is out of our control at this point.  I stopped by our agency to give Amanda the last of the paperwork along with a hand written, hard to read book review.  I really did read the book and loved it, but since we rely on typing, spell check, and not to mention it's been quite a few years since my last book review, I noticed my handwriting sucks, my grammar is awful, and I wish she would just file it and not read it :)  I feel numb at this moment.  While we were in the home study phase, we were in complete control, had daily tasks of paperwork, classes to attend, and things to look into.  Now, we are just waiting!  We are waiting for that precious child of ours that God puts in our life.  We realize this could be a long wait and that seems a bit daunting.  Especially since the home study went so fast and easy.  I want to stay positive and I want to have faith that a mom is out there and will pick us and it will all work out, but I understand that is wishful thinking and not in our control.  There is so much more to adoption, the more I read and learn I feel armed but at the same time, I feel anxious to find out what our situation will be so I can mentally prepare.  I got on online to get some nursery ideas and can't help but wonder if we will have a boy or a girl.  I feel like working on the nursery is the next step in staying busy with the adoption and hopeful.  I know some people might be wondering why we want to work on the nursery because we don't even know when we will get our baby, and looking at an empty nursery would upset us.  That is not the case!  The void Joe and I have is of a child, a sibling to Lola, an addition to our life.  That is there everyday and has been for some time now regardless of whether or not there is an empty nursery.  We kept Lola's nursery until this past September without getting sad when we'd walk in there.  We finally made her nursery into an office for Joe, and everyone said "you know once you do that, you're going to have a baby", well hopefully everyone was right...just instead of having a baby...we will be adopting a baby...our child...a wonderful addition to our family...

Our Family Photo Book

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We Passed!

  Amanda passed us to be parents, good thing for Lola!  They should make all parents go through this process.  Officially Monday after our education class we will be completely done our home study.  All we have to do is finish our book.  We are considered waiting for a child at this point!  AWESOME!!  Right after Amanda left Joe and I just hugged and then of course he got back to work.  Lola rocked today, first she tried to play shy which is foreign to us and then she pulled up a chair at the table and was part of our meeting.  It was really cute to listen to her answer questions about us as parents.  She talked about how we discipline her, she shared fun memories about us, she was asked if she remembers anything big happening in her life and she said "only this".  Amanda then asked her to draw a picture of her family with a baby sister or brother.  She drew us all on a sunny day with me (mommy) holding our baby.  Amanda noticed that I was holding the baby and Lola was next to me and that showed her ability to share me with another child..  I think that is a beautiful way to look at it.  Lola is so considerate and sweet, she is just going to be the best big sister!  She has been very patient with Joe and I during all the discussions we've had, all the time away from her to fill out paperwork, and the education classes we have attended.  Never once has she spoke negatively about this process that has taken away her mommy and daddy at times.  We are very proud to be her parents.  The end of the home study process feels great and we are thrilled to be waiting for our baby...

Another Week

Turns out Lola was just as excited as Joe and I were to meet Amanda, she kept getting out of bed last night saying "I can't sleep, I'm so excited for my meeting tomorrow!"  We have worked so hard every day to finish everything in such a short amount of time and due to the unfortunate deletion of all our wording in our photo book, we didn't have it all completed today.  After the photo book failed to save everything we typed in, I just had to put my hands up because I am tired of thinking and writing about our family.  I know we are great and all (LOL!), but between re-writing that birth parent letter and worrying about what to say and what not to say, I can actually say I'm ready for this part to be over with.  Don't get me wrong, I have been thoroughly enjoying the adoption process, it is however emotionally draining at times.  Amanda had to reschedule our final visit today and it worked out best for us too because Joe had an unexpected procedure on his throat this morning.  Lola was a bit upset but she will get to have "her meeting" next Friday and hopefully by then I will feel like finishing the photo book.  I only worry that when Amanda sees the photo book, she doesn't like all of what we wrote and it'll be just like the birth parent letter all over again!  Other than that because of this beautiful spring weather and Lola being on spring break, I have had a chance to be outside and play with her and able to give my undivided attention to her and it's been a great break from the list of things to do.  I also have had a chance to sit in the sun and read one of the adoption books I bought, Raising Adopted Children by Lois Ruskai Melina and I have found it very insightful, full of issues that you don't think of, and most helpful.

Finally

Our fourth birth parent letter was accepted!  Whew...I'm glad to check that off the list.  Re-writing that four times was wearing me down.  Joe and I are wondering how many English classes Amanda took.  She had correction after correction for us and that was after several people reviewed it.  We finished our fire plan and I think I'm gonna frame it and hang it on the wall with all our other pictures.  Do you have a fire plan in your house?  Thursday is our last home study and Amanda is going to get to meet the one and only, Lola.  Lol's is excited and it will be interesting to see how that goes.  Amanda will get to see us parent the little Miss as it is going to be hard to keep her busy for a few hours.  Actually this could go really bad for us...lol!  This past Sunday a good friend of mine came by and spent over 4 hours looking through pictures on several devices in search of pictures that would tell a story for our profile book.  We decided to do a Shutterfly picture book and I almost have it done.  Now all that is left is for everyone who received a reference letter to complete them and mail them back.  I wonder if when all is said and done if we get to read those letters...hmm... 

Decisions...decisions...decisions...

Well, I think we got our birth parent letter done.  It was hard, I went online to read a few and then found myself writing other people's words and I kept walking away from doing it because it didn't feel right.  I felt like once I could get a great first paragraph to set the tone of the letter it would all start flowing and I finally did.  Who knows what Amanda thinks of it yet, we haven't heard back.  But I spoke from my heart, used my own wording, Joe loved it, and hope this one is more what they are looking for.  I expect some changes but overall we stayed true to ourselves and feel good about it. 
We have been pondering over doing an interstate adoption as well as staying with the agency we are currently working with.  This is a big decision and there is a ton of research and more paperwork to boot if we decide to do this.  The advantage to using an outside agency in a different state is that they have more birth mom's and it would give us more opportunity and possibly quicker placement.  I have been calling around to several agencies that Amanda provided us, and she also said if we find one on our own she would try and work with them but in doing this research, you have to be skeptical.  Some agencies I spoke with it felt like I was on a sales call and their prices were outrageous!  Some websites I visited looked fraudulent. Sitting at the computer all day researching agencies can be overwhelming.  With all that said, I got the most information from an agency in Florida and I felt that their pricing was more in line with what we have been expecting.  I called and left a message with someone and that was 2 days ago and I haven't heard back.  I mean if she's sick and not in the office then OK, but really no return phone call?  This is not good costumer service and ya'll know I'm a stickler for that.  Maybe today I'll send her a email and see what kind of response I get but if nothing then on to more research!!!

Birth Parent Letter

So it turns out that neither Joe or I hit the nail on the head with our first go around on the letter we wrote this weekend.  It's kinda funny because as we sat here Saturday and wrote the Birth Parent Letter, we were so excited that we did it and thought we wrote a great letter...turns out...not so much!  We also had a disagreement while writing it.  Let me explain what a Birth Parent Letter is: It is a opportunity to introduce ourselves and aid the birth mom in choosing a family.  It was to be one page long and explain why we want to adopt.  We were to describe ourselves and give facts about our life as well as offer positive and comforting words to her.  It is supposed to be warm and personal and convey positive emotional feelings.  Well, I wrote a cover letter telling how fabulous our family is and Joe wrote a story about our lives and then we combined the two.  We were told we over sold ourselves (impossible) and had too many "We" starting sentences.  Now, it's a bit difficult to write a letter about your family without starting the sentence with "We".  Thank God, Amanda our social worker at the agency, is awesome and gave me the negative feedback with class and sensitivity.  But I also loved it when she just said "take out the first paragraph" (which was Joe's and the one we argued over!).  She totally understood where Joe was trying to go with his take on the letter but it wasn't the take they are looking for.  So, off to write another letter and now I understand what they are looking for, humbleness, and for those who know me know that is not my forte!

Halfway Through?

 Sitting here today, after our second visit being told we are about halfway through the process, I still feel like there is so much we are waiting on.  Blood work, fingerprints, passing the home study and worrying about raising some money.  If we are halfway through then I feel like I’m behind in so much.  I went to the adoptionbug.com website.  This website sells T-shirts to aid in helping families raise money for adopting.  I received their packet of information and it is a two week wait to start.  Why 2 weeks waiting, we needed to start last month!  There are also W-9 forms to fill out that confuse me so I haven’t done any of it.  I’m half tempted to just put a pay-pal account on this blog and hope that if you are able to contribute and want to that you’ll just do it via pay-pal.  I also am not that comfortable asking for donations.  When we started this process, we were so consumed with emotion of wanting another child that we were going to do whatever to get one.  Now I’m wondering how to do that.  I’m not necessarily feeling discouraged about the money, I just read stories of how other families have raised over $20,000 in crazy amounts of time and we want to be able to raise at least some money.  Either way, it’s all good.  We are adopting a baby and super excited to be in the pool of families waiting to get picked!  I’m also staring at our spare room upstairs wondering at what part of this process we start fixing it into a nursery.  There are so many what-ifs right now that we just have to do what our social worker advised and that is putting a book together about our life.  This book will be filled with pictures and stories about our life to aid the birth parent in choosing us.  We also have to write a birth parent letter.  Joe and I are attacking this today.  It’s a little intimidating to make a book and write a letter to sell your family.  Hopefully they’ll be a mom out there that chooses us…..sooner than later!