Where to begin... I don't think I really have the right words to explain how yesterday went so I'll use Amanda's words. She said, "we were ourselves which is exactly what you want to be." It wasn't like an interview you walk out of and think to yourself I nailed that. I guess maybe I was hoping for that or more confirmation that she liked us at least but she is a birth mom of fewer words and emotion. I can only imagine what she is going through. It seems as though she is being very practical about choosing a family. She has the best intention for this baby to have a great home and is choosing a noble thing. So for me to think why hasn't she choose us already, is selfish... She seemed like a nice women, she was nervous as well. She had her one girl friend with her and a male friend as support. The birth father is in the Air Force and out of the country at the moment. We told her about ourselves, how we met, what a day looks like in our family, favorite TV which I confessed was all of Bravo's Housewives. We laughed often, we told her all about Lola, we discussed our views on education and all in all I think I answered as best I could without making a full of myself and Joe of course was awesome. He was so cool, calm and collect. If anything he could walk out and say I nailed it because he just rocked! The meeting took all of 40 minutes. I did get emotional a couple times. Once when I was explaining the plant and giving it to her, the next time was something but I forget. I was so emotionally exhausted after walking out of there. She talked too and told us about herself and her family life and she also stated she wants a closed adoption after the birth of the baby. And that she was adamant about. She was a hard read for me and I don't know what I was expecting but you really can't speculate any part of adoption, that's for sure!
Around five o'clock last night after the birth mom met with the last family, Amanda texted me. She didn't want to call me b/c she didn't want me to get too excited. Umm....impossible we were actually sitting by the phone just waiting for a call :) Excited we were to hurry and call her back! The first meeting the birth mom had yesterday was with a couple who do not have any children and have been waiting over a year for a baby. Then she met us and we did not bring Lola with us and have only been waiting two months. The third family had a son around Lola's age and they too have been waiting over a year and they did bring their son to the meeting. The birth mom enjoyed the meeting with the third family as she was able to watch them with their son. So, she told Amanda that she would like to meet with us again and meet Lola. She also wants to meet with the first couple again too! But she doesn't want to meet the third family again. Amanda kinda took that as they are out of the decision. The birth mom did inquire how long everyone has been waiting and the only concern with us is that if we are chosen that since Lola is our biological child that this baby will be the "adopted one". The first couple who she is considering doesn't have any children and have been waiting much longer. I'm not sure what this all means, I'm not sure how to approach this all with Lola either. I'm just not sure how I feel except that she is still considering us and obviously liked us enough to want to meet again and meet Lola.
Amanda suggested that this next meeting (sometime this week) would be at Starbucks, I was like NO! Lola in Starbucks where she can't drink a mocha choca latte and eat biscotti's, especially with her nut allergy all up in Starbucks with nothing to do, would be a DISASTER! So Amanda then suggested something like milkshakes and the park. Much better for a 5 year old. Also with this 5 year old, I sure hope birth mom is aware that "out of the mouth of babes" is how to describe Lola. I really don't know what Lola might say to this birth mom if she knows that she is a possible birth mom. I picture something like "Hey is that our baby in your belly?" Let's be real here, she's five, very perceptive and inquisitive. I am in shock sometimes when she speaks! We need some assistance on how to approach this! What to tell Lola? what not to tell Lola?. Are we OK with putting Lola in this emotional situation?! I read some books on adoption and I don't remember this part...HELP!
Since we aren't the only family she is considering I don't know how I feel right now. Cautiously optimistic maybe... My heart is hurt just a bit but this is part of it and this is not in our hands and we believe in that. We are very aware that there is a baby for us, this might be it and it might not.
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