What's on my mind...

My mind has been running wild since the call.  I can't help but feel over joyed.  I'm excited to meet the birth mom, I need to find out if the birth dad will be there too??  I know what I'm wearing :)  I also know what I'm bringing, however I still don't know what I'll be saying...  I have only called Amanda once since she made the call, to ask if I could bring the mom a gift.  I have this plant from my friend's mom back in DE that I just keep giving clippings of to people as gifts.  I have given clippings to some of the friends, neighbors, strangers that have given us donations for our yard sale and given us monetary donations as a way of saying thank you.  I have also given it to a dear friend while she made her way here to visit and took it back with her to Oregon.  This plant is everywhere and is very special to me.  I wanted to bring the birth mom a part of it and tell her thanks for considering us to be parents of her baby.  I thought since I've used this plant as part of saying thanks to others that have helped us on this journey, I found it meaningful to give a part of it to her as this is part of our journey, a huge part.  This is who I am and what I felt I wanted to bring with us, so I hope it doesn't look as though we are trying to over sell ourselves like we did in our birth parent letter!  It really is a meaningful gift that I want her to have, regardless if she picks us.  Since the call, I feel as though we have a great shot at this and of course if it's not meant to be, we understand.  BUT, I can't help but want it to be!  I have pictured this baby in the womb, thought of names because what if that's one of the questions the birth mom asks, nothing comes to mind though.  I've thought about $$$ and how much we need.  I thought about what a great situation this would be for us since this is a local adoption.  I thought about what if she picks us and allows us to be at the hospital for the birth.  I thought about what this birth mom is facing and think that what if I cry for her when I meet her.  I wonder if Joe will be nervous and not himself during this meeting or if I will over talk him like I always do!!  One great thing is that I am good at being myself, always.  Of course I'll try to be a little bit more reserved and let Amanda facilitate this meeting and hopefully my nerves once we are asked questions will dissolve.  We do need to explain what a week in our household looks like as well as a day....should I refrain from telling her that Lola yells from the upstairs bathroom "I went poo poo, can you come wipe me?"  I really don't know if she wants to know what a day looks like from my perspective cause it is a very, long, list!

All while writing this entry, Lola was upstairs separating her books, a pile for a baby and a pile for her.  She even went in the spare room that will eventually be the nursery and put some of her old clothes in there for a baby.  I love her!!!  Even though she's realizing that a baby will change things in our home and she is dealing with some of that anxiety, she still is displaying positive behavior towards having a sibling!