We are totally thrilled that a potential birth mom has chosen our family! I spent the rest of the evening Friday exploring all the documents/ultrasound's/blood work that was provided to me through the agency. Everything looks well. This go around feels different then some others. First of all we were picked, second of all the potential birth mom is healthy per her blood work and continuous prenatal care reports that we received through the agency. We knew on Friday that nothing was going to be signed or anything sealing the match until Tuesday, so we are definitely looking forward to tomorrow. Throughout this weekend, all the excitement - I have to be honest and share that Joe and I are guarded a bit. I'm scared, I am... I feel like we've been here before and now being here again as it is so awesome - it brings a certain level of uncertainty. This is part of adoption and this is what we knew going in but here we are now starting to live through this stage of the journey. Emotions are high... I may possibly be speaking with our potential birth mom tomorrow - I don't know. Maybe I'll be flying out there soon - who knows but tomorrow will hopefully bring some answers. Maybe after we get passed a few more of the hurdles that didn't go well last time - we will start to feel a little less guarded.
On the other hand - Little Miss Lola has been very happy. Just today she came down with a piece of paper that was a list. She walks in the room and says - I just can't find the middle name that interests me! I have NO DOUBT about how great of a big sister she is going to be! She has been watching me off and on making a list of names I am trying out for our potential baby. I haven't found one! So needless to say - she's up there in her playroom doing the same thing. Her list consisted of - Lizzi - Max - Robot- Lola -Princess and - Josefee. How proud she makes me...
Side note - Saturday I was getting gas and my phone rang with a UT number. I answered and it was that agency in UT that prompted our failed match. The women immediately tells me she is aware that we did not want to work with them but tried to contact our social worker Jessica in GA to ask her if we would make an exception, but Jessica is out on maternity. Anyhow - she asked me if we could be shown to one of their birthmom's that is having a baby next week?! I simply said no thank you - we actually were matched yesterday. The lady congratulated us and said something about sending her pictures and stuff. All I could think about is how I don't know them - I didn't choose them as an agency and I surely don't like how they operate. So I believe I was tested a bit and for the first time it felt right to say NO. I believe in the situation unfolding in Florida with Heart of Adoptions. I have faith that this will be the one and am going to do the best I can to prepare with as much optimism as I can. This will be hard for both of us as we've never been down this road before...
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