A Leap of Faith...

I'm learning each day how to be more patient.  Tuesday came and went without us speaking with our potential birth mother's case worker.  That was scary because all I kept thinking about was how we've been here before....waiting for the paperwork....waiting for the phone calls....and the result wasn't so good.  Wednesday came...pretty much went until I received an email from her case worker at the end of her work day.  She apologized for not being able to speak with us yet, however she included the retainer and disclosure letters for us to review & sign.  Thank God everything was exactly the same as it was explained to us on Friday.  So needless to say I've been anxious about all the uncertainty this stage of the journey brings.  I wish I could explain how I feel right now, but I can't.  Unless you've traveled down this road, it will be hard to fully grasp what a huge leap of faith we are taking... 

Our amazing agency here, Heaven Sent, has been great.  Our dear Amanda....adopted a little girl at the end of August and has since left work to bond with her daughter.  She's not off my radar though - I got her cell and she has nicely answered it when I call her :)  Cindy has taken over all Amanda's clients and I know Cindy through the agency as well as the small circle I keep finding myself traveling in...  Anyhow - she called yesterday to check on me... I lost it!  She gave me some great advise, like stop sharing everything I know with everyone about our potential birth mother.  I then lost it even more... I have shared information with some of you that you probably shouldn't know.  So if I have, try and erase it.  It's because you actually might know more about our potential babies birth mother than she may know at certain stages of her life and what if she was to hear it from you before we actually share it with her...  Made good sense to me.  I did learn all this in some books and classes.  I was just in the mix, excited and not thinking like that.  She invited me out to lunch, she told me to reach out to those who have been here before because they understand.  She was just very concerned, very comforting and I appreciated the call.  I needed to cry yesterday and wanted to share what scared me, why it scared me and I didn't have to with her....I could just break down and she understood.  This is overwhelming!  This is exciting!  This is full of unknowns...  And now that we have signed our retainer and disclosure, we are to mail it back to the agency....This is a huge leap of faith we are taking and that alone can speak for itself!