We are having our third and last post placement visit on Saturday. Amanda wanted to see Lola with Jude and ask her some questions so she decided a weekend would be best. We also received an email this week from the Florida agency providing us our court date -it's in May!! I'm not sure what to expect other than Joe and I answering some questions and then hopefully it will be FINAL!! It's all done over the phone, in the comfort of our home, with of course our notary Amanda right by our side. I'm looking forward to Amanda explaining what we should expect so we are prepared.
At this point in our journey I find myself faced with different and new questions everyday. The questions have never stopped, they just used to be related to getting to the birth of our hopeful baby, to will the birth parents change their mind, to now, how to handle the many questions that arise on a daily basis when you adopt? Especially when you adopt and become a trans racial family. Where ever we go, the airport, the grocery store, the GAP, people are constantly inquiring. I said it before, we learned all about this but until you fully emerge yourself in it - you never are ready. I know people do not mean harm and are just nosy, but when you don't adopt and have a biological child, these questions don't arise. I feel like being a smart ass sometimes and I find myself getting defensive almost. The other day in the grocery store a sweet little old lady went up to Joe and asked 'Where did we get her?', Luckily Joe got away with just correcting his sex and didn't elaborate. However in my mind I was thinking of saying 'isle 5 next to the pasta'. I know she didn't mean any harm, but for some reason it feels invasive. However on the flip side of it, one of the ladies in the airport came up to us because she is in the middle of adopting ,and just was inquiring information and of course, I was sharing. This isn't meant sound negative or anything, it's is what it is and I've been keeping it real with you all from the beginning and this is just another part of it. This part won't end though, it's just going to change to people asking Jude the same questions we are getting now. One class last year, one of the social workers at our agency explained how she role plays with her children and I get it. It will be necessary so Jude is prepared. I signed up for a webinar next week and am going to purchase some books. I realize we are only 3 months in and at some point down road we will hopefully come to a comfort zone with all the questions but for now all I can do is educate myself and my family and continue to surround myself around other adoptive families.
In this technology driven world we live in these days, tons of information is just a click away and I find myself in a strange place because of our semi-open adoption. I don't want to share the specifics but they are leading me to evaluate my motives, my life, and my priorities at this time and I may be making some changes to be offline. I don't know what that means for this blog or for staying as private as possible on Facebook (is that an oxymoron?), but I definitely need to feel comfortable with some things which may lead to some changes.
We are so very grateful for everyone following along in this amazing journey with us, for the mad support you have all expressed, for the baby showers, sip and see's, words of encouragement, monetary donations, the dinners, and love you've shown to our family. Thank you all!! We couldn't more happy to have our son Jude, he is so amazing - just like his big sister, Lola!!
No comments:
Post a Comment