Morning coffee...

As Joe bounced out of bed first (I cannot remember the last time he got up with Lola), he was anxious to start his own research and learn everything about this little babies outlook due to the diagnosis it was given.  He read through my notes, which probably wasn't the best idea.  He read "severe damage" and it was underlined several times, but I was taking notes while on the phone and I just didn't put the "NO" in front of it.  Other than having to break down my notes to him, he got the gist of my conversation with the Doctor.  It's hard to be on the phone with a neurologist and listen, comprehend and then write it all down.  Of course I have more questions for him and wish it wasn't Saturday.  We are waiting for another Neurologist who looked through everything yesterday to send an email with their professional opinion because they supposedly have a lot to say about this case.  I'm so curious by the way!  I mean is this information going to sway us one way or another?  We haven't told Lola about this opportunity but with all the chatting I did yesterday, regardless that I sat her in front of the TV to engage her, she still observed everything that was going on.  I can't get anything by her.  Well, she made Joe and I smile this morning while we were having our morning coffee.  She came into the room and said, are we going to adopt this little baby?   I started to tell her well Lola there is some concerns for this little baby, and she says I know, I know I've been listening to you and the babies birth mom lives in the same state as the other birth mom.  We chuckled cause she was right, but that wasn't what we were going to tell her.  We told her that this baby was born very early and because of that some of it's brain was effected.  This baby will need special care, to what extent we don't know.  You gotta love kids, because she went right into I can help them walk.  "So and so" can hold my hand....  We explained that the baby may need glasses and Lola's eyes got real big and she got all proud and was thinking...no big deal, been there, do that!  We explained the baby might need to see the doctor often at times and she thought to make a silly dance to make the baby laugh!  So much for not sharing this situation with Lola in a more formal fashion.  This is a prime example of how during an adoption journey your children become such a huge part of it too, this is our families journey, not just Joe and I's.  And because we haven't completely fallen apart yet on this journey, either has she...  She has made us so proud on her maturity through this roller coaster of a ride.  We have a lot to do today, possibly a decision will be made - we both are not ready to make a decision.  We need to speak with more people and we don't want to feel rushed either.  Long story short this baby who technically isn't even due yet made a trip from Massachusetts to Utah with a social worker yesterday because the original adoptive parents gave it back.  They have had the baby since 7/13 and my heart hurts for them.  That could not have been an easy decision and try not judge them for their decision.  No-one knows their story and everyone has one!